I recently spent time with the best woman ever born into this aloof world of ours. I know..I know…it’s a bold statement within an opinion I believe to be fact! She’s an ex girlfriend of mine from nine years ago. It now feels like a million and one moments ago. I want to share a profound moment that still impacts my life to this day. Although I must confess, this moment that I will soon share wasn’t so profound at the time. This moment was hurtful to a heart I now hold so dear, this moment held a band of emotions captive for years, yet this moment selfishly taught me a lesson I will carry for the rest of my life. It was August 14, 2008. Earlier that day, I had gotten into an argument with “Becky with the good hair”(her name for privacy sake) earlier that day. After I was release from Dr. Jackson Chemistry two lecture, I drove home in my ashy red 1999 Eddie Bauer Ford Expedition(none of this is important , I’m just reliving all of the moments..great times!). It was a long day and I was ready to get home to have a nice glass of amaretto sour. Give me a break, I had just started drinking. I pulled up to my apartment, open my door and guess who was in the living room…….you guessed it! Becky! This is important to know because she lived in Kentucky at the time. She DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM KENTUCKY to Georgia. I will skip over a lot of details to cut to the point. She heard about a local girl on campus I was “dealing” with through Facebook aka the devil. And she was pretty upset to say the least! She calmly asked; “Kydric are you dealing with soso?”. Like any other guilty man, I immediately raised my voice and turned everything back around on her. As I tell this story, the reminder of the old me turns my stomach. But I have to share in full disclosure! I cursed her out and used words I don’t care to share, then I proceeded to my bedroom to fold clothes that were lying on my bed. Minutes later, Becky walked in the room to the other side of the bed. She looked up at me, and the next words protruding from her mouth forever changed my life. It wasn’t necessarily the words, it was the purity of her presence and intentions. She said “Kydric…I love you”, then she proceeded to help fold clothes. I was speechless!!!
As life has past and now that maturity has birthed, I realize that I took a moment that forever changed my life for granted. I didn’t recognize the impact of her purity until years later. Don’t get too excited love birds, this story doesn’t end with a love reunion or a marriage. She’s now a lesbian and in her words “living a very happy life”. Yes she dated guys after me, so her new lifestyle wasn’t directly after our breakup. But, I am prepared to accept my former short comings. I also accept responsibility for unnecessarily hurting someone who didn’t deserve it at all. And if I was the one who led her into her happy lifestyle, I would accept that too. But I don’t because we haven’t had that particular conversation and it’s arrogant, rude and disrespectful for me to assume so. I love, adore and support her no matter what. Just as much as she did for me nine years ago.
This was one of many examples of Becky displaying unconditional love towards me. There were many moments I overlooked. If I’m honest, today the moments are different. As she was leaving the other day, we encountered that awkward silence that most people experience on the elevator. I looked up and glazed over through her newly done braids and said “it’s intriguing seeing you at 30 vs 22 to 24 years old”. My statement magnified my perception of moments, the moments I under appreciated at the time but now enjoy the most. If you’re reading this, yes Becky I enjoyed you more at 22. Not because of your growth and additional happy lifestyle, but because I denied my heart greatness, fulfillment and completion. I denied my heart you…and for a moment, I denied God! Two of my biggest regrets that I will never do again. Today, I adore her existence and the current moments that tags along with her. Strangers, friends and family, no matter what your day involves, no matter how beautiful or bad your life seems to be right now, please take my story and use it as a light to shine on every single moment you are blessed to endure. Don’t deny yourself great moments that will forever change your life.
“Wonderful experiences becomes distant memories so fast” ~Jason Taylor
Positive Vibes,
Ky
Eventually I'll Live 